I Just Don’t Know

teddy in front of multiple screens




“How many places does the River Slaney pass through?”


I have one eye on the rear-view mirror watching an oncoming truck as it thunders down the hill towards me while the other eye, deranged chameleon-like, is looking for a gap in the oncoming traffic so that I can turn off the busy road.

“I don’t know.”

“Does it go to Dublin?”


“That’s the Liffey,” Big Brother replies.

Meanwhile, loud medley of young voices piping out enthusiastic variations of the latest by Mr Sheeran or Ms Swift etc. etc. ad nauseum.


“Yes?” I gear down to enter a roundabout.

“What was the first dog to ever chase a fox?”

“??? – I don’t know”.

“Probably a wolf”, says Big Brother again.

I wonder to myself: What is the opposite to Google? An eejitty eejit? A mother manoeuvring her people carrier filled with her noisy little people through life’s activities at rush hour? I’m definitely not feeling like the sharpest knife in the mental block in this moment of parenting.

We’re not used to this anymore, not knowing.  It’s so easy having our questions answered after a few online clicks, there’s little room for frustration. Recently B.B. was swotting for an interschools general knowledge contest and discovered some important facts, like, did you know that a polar bear is actually black? It has black skin and see-through hair – fancy that! And did you know that you have more chance of dying on the way to buying a lottery ticket than winning the lottery? See I told you gambling is a bad idea. More worryingly though they say it only takes three clicks before your child sees something online in your own home you’d rather they hadn’t.  Once it’s seen it can’t be unseen.

So what is in store for them? There’s no way of telling yet. We debate with other parents about screen time and internet access to try and gauge what’s normal or best, feeling as if we are just muddling along and hoping we make the right choices for them. We criticise others who are more permissive about how much time they allow their kids to be sitting on the couch. We scold our children for constantly pushing the boundaries that we have deemed safe or sensible. We agonise over what they might be exposed to.

Maybe our kids are missing out on learning social cues, healthy physical development, the ability to communicate in a crowd or even one on one, what it is like to ponder and imagine, to live with the quiet of their own thoughts, to be frustrated and learn how to deal with that. How often do our children experience real prolonged boredom, the type that spurs them into creativity and invention?

The peaceful pondering definitely doesn’t happen much in my car anyway, I’d love a London cab with a sliding soundproof screen behind the driver but they don’t have many for sale in Ireland. I could allow them to bring their screens to keep them quiet, for just a minute or two…but is that a good idea? I just don’t know.

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Lucy At Home

12 thoughts on “I Just Don’t Know”

  1. I love this post! I agonise so much over the screen-time thing. We held off getting a tablet for ages but finally gave in at christmas this year – they are definitely getting a lot benefit from it, and being tech-savvy is important in this day and age… but I still feel concerned at them being entertained so much of the time rather than creating their own fun. Who knows what the answer is?? I guess our generation of kids are the first ones to really have this 24 hour access and, as the first parents of those kids, it’s our job to make the mistakes and see what happens, and future generations will be able to build on those mistakes…

    And congratulations because someone loved this post so much, they added it to the BlogCrush linky! Feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge 🙂 #blogcrush

    1. Thank you Lucy, delighted! Yes it’s hard to know what’s right, there is some research coming out now which is worrying. It’s tempting as parents to leave them on their screens for too long as it keeps them quiet. I find the biggest culprit is You-tube on a phone, it’s very difficult to keep up with what they are watching., it’s also difficult being that tough parent who says no when ‘everybody else’ at school is allowed such and such. There’s always something new to figure out isn’t there?!

  2. Musings of a tired mummy...zzz...

    Children have such great imaginations and curious minds! Love their questions. Thanks for linking up with #globalblogging

  3. Lovely post — really captures the scene so well. And I certainly can empathise with that mixture of irritation at their endless questions and not knowing the answers!

  4. I remember my eldest (about 5 at the time) piping up in the back seat asking “Mom, why don’t we have a discount broker?” Hilarious….. But your concerns are very worthwhile. Our memory and attention span I fear is being melted into soften butter. Hang in there, Mum!

    1. Liberty On the Lighter Side

      Thanks Dawn – they definitely come up with some delights, it’s a shame we can’t always remember them all. I suppose they are learning skills which we never had the opportunity to and we have to trust they will be in safe hands.

  5. Great post. Times have changed and wouldn’t it be nice if we could simply google the answers out of our brains rather than looking on a device for them. Next time maybe suggest waiting until you get home and you’ll work on the answer together. Your post was delightful.

  6. You are a wonderful writer. I have never traveled outside of the US, and you transported me somewhere else in the world. Great slice of life, and commentary. I enjoyed it!

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