Imperfect but Lovely – mental health and celebrations

One and a half candlesHAPPY ONE AND A HALF BIRTHDAY to YOU

HAPPY ONE AND A HALF BIRTHDAY to YOU

HAPPY ONE AND A HALF BIRTHDAY to YOU, my blo-og

HAPPY ONE AND A HALF BIRTHDAY to YOU!

YES – I have been blogging for 18 months!

So to celebrate I am going to tell you a little story:

I was a Graphic Design student so long ago, learning how to use an Apple Mac was optional on the course. That’s a bit like going on an automobile building course nowadays and not learning about self-driving cars or GPS. Shortsighted and a bit crazy!

When I was on the course, a psychology student came to visit me in class while I was painstakingly executing typography and layouts (by hand) and used to tease me about how easy my course was, all I had to do was draw pictures all day. I was not impressed with his therapeutic skills, and so, in order to get him back, I married him.

I often wonder whether subconsciously I married a psychologist because I thought I was going to need his professional help sometime down the line. I have needed it, he’s great at helping me get my head straight. But because he is the closest person to me in the world, and has suffered through some of the same stuff I have, for some issues an outside perspective is healthier. SoΒ at the beginning of this year I went to see a therapist. What amazed me most was how utterly safe I felt by the second session, I realised I could be completely honest and she would not stand in judgement over me. I can’t do that to myself.

This past week was #WorldMentalHealthDay and so I jokingly asked my husband whether they celebrated by having a party at work with his fellow psychologists. They didn’t because one doesn’t really celebrate poor mental health. Jokes aside I do think therapists ought to be celebrated though. Especially the one I married.

If, like me, you think you are a little bit crazy, most likely you are not. Truly mentally disturbed people have little idea that they really are, or are able to admit it, I know that because some of them are my closest relatives. (Seriously – sad). I can safely write this as they will not know that I am talking about them. (And I’m confident they don’t read my blog anyway).

Today I am celebrating, not my relative mental health, but my blog. You see, I have felt that I have let myself down many times in my life (there’s some personal stuff that I won’t go into here). Apart from that I barely scraped through that Graphic Design course and I don’t have the successful career that some of my classmates have. I have spent years trying to figure out what it is I would like to do now that my children are growing up and don’t need me quite as much all the time anymore.

I guess I have been going through an early mid-life crisis. I’m fast approaching 50 which frightens the bedinges out of me.

And then I discovered this – writing a blog, which in turn led me to writing fiction, and it’s wonderfully life giving. I figure that the reason I love blogging so much is that it combines creativity with therapy – writing is cathartic. The blogging/writing community is also very supportive and encouraging, kind to one another when we are criticising ourselves.

At the moment there are a gazillion and twenty one posts, tweets, blogs and feeds all about blog awards in the UK and Ireland. In fact there’s another award ceremony happening TODAY in Dublin. These awards have categories but I can’t decide which category I would fit into as there isn’t one for crazy bloggers who ‘weep-snot-on-their-keyboards-while-they-type’ one day and then ‘laugh-at-all-their-own-jokes’ the next. ALSO I’m rubbish at rejection – I realised that’s why I always dumped my boyfriends before they got the chance to dump me first. So I will probably never go to any awards ceremonies.

However, I am excited that I have finally found the courage to change career and it’s about time I stood up and gave myself a little applause, I am the boss of my own blog so I can give myself an award and celebrate that, can’t I! When I gnash my teeth at my own imperfections, my husband tells me that I am lovely to him, and that’s important. I also need to let myself be lovely to me too.

So I know it’s a bit mad (‘quirky’ in an aspiration for me) but have designed myself an award, all on the computer:

imperfect but lovely award

Feel free to copy it and have it for your own blog too if you feel you are less than perfect but happy with what you have achieved so far, in whatever personal capacity.

And going back the bloggers who are supportive, I was so chuffed to be nominated on another blog with this lovely honour some weeks ago:

Thank you!

 

 

10 thoughts on “Imperfect but Lovely – mental health and celebrations”

  1. What a lovely idea, and agree it’s important to be lovely to yourself. We need to model the behaviour we want our children to adopt and I so want D to love herself and be kind to herself physically and mentally. This is a great reminder for mums and everyone to do this. Thanks for sharing #BlogCrush

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