Unspeakable grief – when our words fail: The Word.



It has been six weeks since my previous post and that’s because words lost all meaning when my sister called me to tell me there was no more hope for her little boy.  Then the sounds and words that came from my mouth are not ones I can rewrite. There is nothing that anyone can say to remove this awful thing, to mend their destroyed hearts, to bring back their child. For a while shock left us speechless. Later that evening we had to break the news to our children and my husband struggled to get the words out. How do you pass on this pain to your kids? Later we held each other as we cried aloud, our tears swallowing any attempts to pray.

I am a cracked pot, not really useful for much. I’ve been told that the cracks are good as those will better reveal the treasure that hides inside. I hate how it hurts though. I have been told to look after myself but I don’t know how to and I want to look after her instead. I am devastated that I couldn’t protect my younger sister or prevent the harm that came to her child. I’m clumsily hoping to fix her heart with my feeble attempts and struggling to accept I can’t. Their loss as parents is uniquely theirs and I cannot enter into that private space, all I can do is wait at the entrance. I can hope to show her love, to walk beside her and help carry her heavy burden. We can weep together. We can remember him and do things for his sake. We will never stop grieving his loss because we will always miss him and would never have stopped loving him.

The one helpful thing I know about mourning is that it is better when we don’t do it alone. Romans chapter 12 talks about what love looks like in action and it reminds us that we are to mourn with those who mourn. Our comfort comes with being together, even silently. Knowing there is another person who sits with you in your sorrow helps in a way which is hard to understand. But I hate to be told to be strong! We can’t ignore the grief just as much as we can’t ignore the death.

In verse 19 of Romans 12 it says “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. There is no denying that my sister and husband have been grievously robbed. They were robbed of their child, shockingly fast, at Christmas time; and no person on this earth can avenge their loss. There is only one who has overcome death, only one who can pay back what has been taken from them and his name is Jesus. I think it is no co-incidence that another name for him is ‘The Word’. Speaking about him in John chapter 1 it says: ‘In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.’ and then in verse 14, ‘The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.’

Sometimes what we say to each other is meaningless, our words are trite and in our pathetic attempts to help we end up hurting. When all our words fail us and we are unable to comfort one another, there is only one place to turn that carries any meaning and significance beyond the hurt. There is only one Word that brings life and hope and healing, who knows our suffering and shares in it. He is the only one who has and will redeem us from all that has been lost, taken from us or by us.

I am unable to speak but I can know.

Only One Word.


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12 thoughts on “Unspeakable grief – when our words fail: The Word.”

  1. What it took for you to pour from your heart the words you chose, seems evidence itself of the Lord’s life and love within you, thank you. I pray that the Lord will indeed grant you all abundant comfort, peace, as His love soothes the raw parts which this kind of loss can leave. Blessings to you all.

    1. Liberty On the Lighter Side

      Thank you so much for your kind words. He is faithful and gentle which, I feel, is a soothing balm on the non physical wounds and it’s amazing how he uses even strangers to apply that balm! It is hard seeing people you love suffer so greatly, feeling helpless to do anything about it. Learning to be ‘patient in affliction’.

  2. Liberty, I am so sorry to hear of your sister’s and your sad loss. Loosing a child is the most unbearable thing a parent has ever to endure, but for your sister knowing that you are there by her side when she will need you most will be of great solace to her. My thoughts are with you and your sister, her husband and your extended family at this awful time in your life. So beautifully written as always, even at this awful time.

    1. Liberty On the Lighter Side

      Thank you Joan, glad you are still in touch, I hope we will cross paths one day at another writers workshop. Wishing you all the best for the coming year.

  3. Hi Libs Well done for your most beautiful heartfelt post. It is so heartwrenching to think of what you are all going through. I feel for Jess so greatly. But for you as my friend especially much. Sending so much love, Love Robs xxx

    Sent from my iPhone


  4. Lifting up your sister and you in prayer. May all of you find comfort in God the Father. May His mercy and grace see you through such a time as this. God bless.

  5. “Their loss as parents is uniquely theirs and I cannot enter into that private space, all I can do is wait at the entrance.” Actually, you’re words amaze me, your sensitivity to this very personally painful situation, and even more so your willingness to acknowledge Truth in the midst of pain that would rail against confusion. Where does this come from?

    1. Liberty On the Lighter Side

      I have been wondering how to reply to you and then this morning I read 2 Corinthians 9:8 which I think sums it all up perfectly: ‘And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work’. Humbling that He can use us!

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